Repeat after me... you. are. more. than. a. number. Judgement by number is a tricky thing. We tell ourselves we don't do it, but that's a lie because we do it all the time. Your age, your weight, your GPA, your credit score, your bank account—all examples of what I call, judgement by number. And while I make a conscience effort to not judge others by that criteria, i'm failing miserably about not judging myself. I've spent the better part of my adult life hating math, yet only caring about numbers. Ironic, isn't it? Today's struggle of the day? The scale.
Why do we worry so much about what the scale says? Maybe it's because from a young age, we are taught our worth is rooted in a number. Society has tricked us into thinking that if that scale number is too high or too low that we are unworthy. Unworthy of the right fitting clothes. Unworthy of unconditional love. Unworthy of being considered "beautiful." It is rough out there to say the least. And I wish I could say I was exempt from that feeling of unworthiness. That's the funny thing about the devil though, he lurks around waiting for the right moment to make you feel defeated and fill your head with self doubt.
It is crazy to look back at photos of when I was just over 100 pounds in high school and think that in those moments, I thought I needed to lose weight. I've been the skinny girl who can fit through a coat hangar (not kidding), and I've also been the girl who desperately wanted a dress at the store and they didn't have my size. Society tells me I should have been happier at 100 pounds than I am now. But truthfully, I wasn't. I was so unhealthy. I could eat a medium sized pizza MYSELF and not gain a pound. While that might seem like a desirable quality, it's remarkable I didn't have diabetes from all the junk I ate. I look at the photo's above and see two completely different girls. The one on the left who was incredibly insecure and felt awkward in her own skin, but was "skinny." The one on the right who is more "curvy" than she used to be, but eats healthy and loves life. So why do I get so upset about a pound or two? Your guess is as good as mine.
I know in my heart that a lot of women (and maybe some men), struggle with that number on the scale like I do. I assume that's why eating disorders are so prevalent in today's society. But I want to encourage you all as well as myself that we're not defined by that number. Our happiness should not be contingent upon if we lose 3 pounds and we shouldn't be filled with sadness because that number went up by a pound or two. Easier said than done, trust me. But I can't seem to remember one funeral I've gone to where people were remembered for the number on that scale. They were remembered for their kindness, compassion, their heart for others and the accomplishments they did while they were on earth.
So be kind, love others, and be beautiful. Happy Friday!